ON "SMALL TALK"
Question:
“How can I make small talk?”
Answer:
Small talk is not a shortened big talk. It’s a deep conversation.
You don’t have to be a deep philosopher at the dinner table; you just have to pay attention to what’s going on in the room and give the other person a little space to sit.
Start with the present: the food, the weather, the train, the music, the crowd, the chair, the strange lighting.
So ask a question that opens the door, not a question that closes the door. “How did you get to this neighborhood?” is better than “Do you live here?” because, yes, and there are no dead ends.
If you get lost, use the safe, humane ways: family, work, fun, future. Listen carefully to the little words, which are the little words in their answer that require more questions.
If someone says they’re back from the Seattle rain, now you have Seattle and the rain. Pick one of the options and move on. Most people enjoy talking about their lives, because they’ve lived there for years.
Listen to them and they might think you’re a good conversationalist.